Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.- Anonymous
“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down”–Oprah Winfrey
These two quotes pretty much describe my life right now. Its been a tough week on the friend front.
The situation at Kolbotn has gotten a bit ugly. I think I mentioned it a little bit before, but I had a contract with them that they didn’t follow through on for a football school, I didnt have a Plan B, and with the result, economically, things the whole year for me has been really stressful. I also feel its one of those things that I need to stand up on, and unfortunately one of my good friends on the team was who I was going to be doing it with, so defacto she is involved, although I have tried to keep her out of it.
I had to go to NISO that is kind of like the guardian group for the players this week to try and get this resolved, and to find out what my rights were. Its so sad to me that things have to end like this, but I know I need to stand up for myself.
What I do find sad, is how one week you can be teammates and the best of friends with people and then a week later, things can change so much. I had no desire to leave the team, but really felt like I had no other option. Its hard because just by being around people every day, week after week, of course you develop bonds with them, and to have to leave in this way has been hard. I struggle though as, I dont know if its just a soccer thing, but I feel like people dont think outside their own world, and even my good friends have reached out to do little to make me feel like I have their support. I spoke with a friend who isnt a soccer player about this, and she brought up a good point; getting to the highest level of anything, including soccer is a cut throat, often selfish endeavor that doesnt really lend itself to thinking outside our own little worlds and what is best for us.
I thought that was such a brilliant observation and it just reaffirms to me, how important it is to get out of the “soccer bubble” sometimes because its so easy to lose perspective. But it does make me sad, because if there is one thing I crave from life its genuine human connectedness, and to live in a place where you can relax and fall into the safety net of your friends. To know that in good times and in bad they are there for you. To know that your friendship goes deeper than a matching jersey and shorts.
If anything, I am trying to tell myself that in so many people who I considered good friends disappearing from my life, it is really allowing the flowers that have been standing there all along, come to the forefront, and inspire me to give them the love and the nourishment that they deserve as they are there, good times and in bad.
On another note, speaking of some of those kind of people, I get to see some of my favourite people with Ireland tomorrow….and get to see my old best friend from Oslo, Travis. Cant wait.